Helping Children Get Unstuck: How Counselling Supports Kids and Teens

Every so often children hit a wall. Something builds up that they cannot sort out on their own, and the feelings around it get too big to manage without someone to help. That is where skilled support makes a difference.

In our practice we meet kids all the time who do better once they have someone to talk to. What they need is a place that feels safe, where nobody is judging them, and where they can say what is actually going on. Whatever they are wrestling with, having room to put it into words is often the first step.

Our focus is children and young people. We chose this work because we genuinely enjoy being with kids and teenagers, and it is where our strengths lie. Being the kind of psychologist a child feels comfortable around matters to us.

When it comes to setting direction for the work, Geldard and Geldard (1997) described four separate layers of goals that come into play with young clients. There are the fundamental goals, the goals the parents bring, the goals the counsellor forms, and the goals the child holds. None of these can be ignored. Good work keeps all four in view at once.

The fundamental goals go to the heart of things. They deal with the painful stuff a child is carrying, help a young person feel okay about who they are, and build the ability to handle feelings like anxiety, sadness, or anger rather than being ruled by them.

These same goals help a child make peace with both their limits and their abilities, and they open the door to shifting behaviour that is causing problems. Beyond that, they give a child a better chance of adjusting to the world around them and growing into what they are capable of.

So the psychologist is doing several things at once: tending to the fundamental goals, listening to what the parents want, shaping their own professional aims, and staying faithful to what the child wants out of the sessions. Yes, it can look like a juggling act. With some planning up front and honest negotiation along the way, every one of those needs can be held together.

We work out goals together with parents and the young person before we get going, so there is no confusion about where each session is headed and why.

The areas we concentrate on with children include Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), anxiety in children and teenagers, building healthier relationships with friends and parents, depression in children and teenagers, and assessment for gifted and talented students.

A problem caught early tends to clear up faster. There is no reason to hold off until a small worry has grown into something serious.

Deborah Jepsen is a qualified Educational Psychologist in private practice in Albert Park, Melbourne, Australia.